


Convergence

by leen_go (cagedchaos)



Series: Protection [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-16
Updated: 2012-12-16
Packaged: 2018-10-25 09:28:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10761432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cagedchaos/pseuds/leen_go
Summary: Luhan gets bored of the same mundane routine of being Yixing's guardian and finds Minseok an interesting new development in his life. [Prequel to Protection]





	Convergence

_Luhan! Guess what? I got a gig!_ Luhan’s fingers brushed over the lines and curves of his best friend Zhang Yixing’s handwriting. _I’m going to be working with six guys that are part of group called EXO. Have you heard of them? They are a super popular idol group here, in case your foreign roots give you trouble understanding the cultural reference. Hehe, I am so excited for this job. I start tomorrow. I wonder what those guys will be like? – Love, Yixing._

Luhan picked up a pen, chewed on the cap for a moment before pulling out a sheet of paper to write down his reply to the person who lived above him in the converted house. _That sounds great, Xingxing! I knew you’d be able to do it. Jia yo, Zhang Yixing!_ _– Love, Luhan._ He cheesily drew an accompanying container of oil that was pouring into a pool of liquid at the end of the message. Luhan capped his pen and tossed it to the ground in front of where he sat crossed-legged. He folded the notepaper perfectly in half, making sure that the edges lined up properly and held it between his lips as he got up and patted his pants down to get the dirt off. He picked up Yixing’s note and carried it to his bedroom to stash it into a loose floorboard in his closet along with the hundreds of other similar pages and the gun he kept for emergencies.

When Luhan exited his apartment, he didn’t bother to lock the door before wandering around the outside of the house to the side door where Yixing’s apartment began. As he had done the night before (and the night before, and the night before that), Luhan dropped the folded note into the slotted mailbox beside the doorbell.

Just like Luhan never locked his door, Yixing didn’t either, at least at night when Luhan often dropped by. Stepping inside, Luhan made his way with familiarity to Yixing’s closet, changing out of the tank-top-and-dress-shirt combination that Yixing seemed so found of recently and into a casual grey sweater with no designs save for the asymmetric zipper down the front. It certainly was a good thing that the two shared the same size, Luhan laughed to himself. Looking at himself in the full length mirror on the inside of the closet door, Luhan ruffled his hair and pushed at the fringe that Yixing always preferred to fall over his right eye. Personally, Luhan liked his hair short, but Yixing would never let him cut it. Instead, Luhan settled for using some hair clay to style the strays out of his eyes.

Being Zhang Yixing’s guardian angel was no easy task. For the past half a year, Luhan had been bored. Aside from the exchange of notes that took maybe five minutes each night, he had nothing else to do with himself but show up at bars and flash his smile at the nearest person that Luhan almost always preferred to be older than himself. In January, it was the cute pianist who played during open-mic night who called himself Henry Lau. In February, it was Zhou Mi, the host of a wedding Luhan had crashed. In March, Luhan had decided to experiment, going for a cute girl by the name of Song Qian, a dancer who had stood out to Luhan at a club, mostly because he had positioned himself conveniently in front of her on one of the stages. In April, it was Hangeng, an actor that Luhan had met at a movie premier after-party, where Luhan had had too flirt with a rather large man at the entrance to be granted access into the venue. The list went on, and Luhan had a hard time remembering all the names in between.

Tonight, Luhan wanted to keep it low-key, settling just for a local bar that didn’t twinkle, and didn’t blast terrible electronic pop music from its overhead speakers.  It was a simple sports bar, and probably the only one that Luhan hadn’t yet visited in the city. Tonight, Luhan just wanted to watch his boys from Manchestor United play on the big screen. Asking the only bartender who didn’t seem to wear a nametag (or adhere to what appeared to be the dress code for servers) for a beer, Luhan settled into a two-seater booth and sat parallel to the seat so he could see the TV head on. He stole an extra bar menu from a shelf and set it open towards the seat across from him to convey a silent message that he wasn’t alone; Luhan wasn’t particularly in the mood for entertaining.

Never the less, when Luhan came back from the bathroom at half time, there was someone in the seat across from his. He tried to cover up his scowl, but fell short as he sat back down, tapping brusquely at the open menu he had specifically used as a place holder. “This seat is taken,” Luhan muttered, without bothering with the usual ‘sorry’ he would have normally added to the beginning.

“Oh, well, no one’s occupied this spot for the whole first half of the game, and the place is packed, so I was thinking…”

Luhan glared his stranger, trying to decide whether his unwelcome booth-mate was trying to be a subtle ass by insinuating that Luhan had been stood up, or if he was really just hoping to get a seat in the place.

“Look, I just want to watch the game, so if it really means that much to you, I can leave.”

Luhan continued to stare at him with narrowed eyes, though it was with significantly less mirth than when he had first returned from the restroom. Luhan’s guest had yet to mention a single word about his appearances, and while he had come to the bar with no intention of hooking up with anyone, it was still a blow to his ego. He sighed, “Fine, do whatever you want,” he grumbled as he leaned back into the wall of the booth. The stranger nodded his thanks and turned towards to TV again. Without asking Luhan’s name. Or making awkward small talk. Or trying to mistakenly brush his hand. He didn’t even have the courtesy to check Luhan out _in the least_.

Luhan seeked comfort in convincing himself that _of course_ there were straight guys who drank mojitos with a straw.

When Luhan left the bar that night, he couldn’t remember which team had won. He’d spent the majority of the second half of the game sulking because _someone_ hadn’t bothered to even ask for the time, or accidentally kick him under the table, or offer some of the nachos that he’d ordered for himself. No, _someone_ had simply watched the game on the screen hanging on the wall, which should’ve been what Luhan was doing instead of coming up with possible nicknames for the idiot who wouldn’t pay him any attention.

Luhan stormed home in a foul mood, changed into a set of old clothes and settled into bed for the night. He’d much rather just sleep than have to come up with a hundred more reasons why the person he’d unofficially named _Baozi_ hadn’t paid any attention to him all night.

…

_The guys are great. I had totally expected a bunch of stuck up jerks who thought they were better than everyone who wasn’t famous like them but I was totally wrong! You really need to stop working so late so you can meet them. – Love, Yixing._

Luhan always varied the establishments he frequented and he never visited the same place two nights in a row. He would make some excuse about the bar having a nicer selection of wines from international vineyards, but a lot of places had that and he knew he really just wanted to check if _Baozi_ would be there tonight again.

When he arrived, he seated himself at the same booth as the night before and ordered a glass of red wine, pulling out the phone in his pocket to play a round of solitaire on it.

“Oh, so no fake date sitting across from you today?” The employee who didn’t dress like anyone else placed a coaster on the wooden table before setting down the wineglass on top of it. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow on his angular face in amusement.

Luhan scowled, “Excuse me?” he asked rudely as he put his game down.

The waiter motioned towards the empty seat across from Luhan with his chin, “You used a menu last night to make it look like someone was with you, I’m assuming to ward off any unwanted company.”

Luhan rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, “Right, because that’s exactly what I was doing.”

“Well, either that, or I could just pretend you got stood up.”

Luhan nearly growled, recalling the way _Baozi_ had probably assumed the same thing last night, “I don’t get stood up. Ever.” He said through a clenched jaw. It was true, but it was also unnecessary to announce it out loud to the person who brought him his drinks. “Don’t you have other customers to annoy?”

“It’s not game night, so it’s not terribly busy. Besides, my employees are good at what they do.”

“ _Your_ employees?” Luhan repeated before realising that being the owner of the business certainly explained why the guy dressed differently from the other workers. “Oh.”

“Kim Jongdae at your service.”

Luhan put on a smile that didn’t grace his eyes, “Know what would do me a great service right now, Mr. Kim Jongdae?” The corners of his lips dropped, “If you just would just leave me the hell alone.”

Kim Jongdae seemed to find the reaction amusing, chuckling to himself as he left Luhan alone to stew. He looked at the time on the screen of the phone and decided that it was still early enough to ditch the joint and find somewhere more interesting and less annoying. He moved to slide out of the booth but caught himself before his foot stepped out from the table. He eyed the empty seat opposite him and settled back into his spot.

Half an hour more couldn’t hurt.

Luhan ordered a fresh glass every time he’d said to himself _just another half hour and I’m leaving,_ and now he had probably gone through six, maybe more, he couldn’t recall. Finally deciding that his pride had taken a big enough hit to last him a really long time, Luhan slapped a couple bills on the table and hoped that it would cover his tab for the night before mildly stumbling towards the exit.

“Woah, sir. Are you alright? Do you need me to call you a cab?”

Luhan looked up to what he could only assume to be an illusion because a giant bun on legs was asking him if he needed a ride home. No, he had lied. It was a giant bun on legs that also had arms apparently, because they were holding onto Luhan. He giggled and raised a hand to poke at the bun, “Baozi!”

“Sorry?” The man pushed away Luhan’s outstretched arm.

It took a while for Luhan to regain his vision and he giggled even more when he recognised who he had bumped into on his way out, “Baozi! You’re here! You finally came!” Luhan slung his arm around the person he’d been waiting all night for with glee, “What took you so long?”

“O…kay… Why don’t you take a seat here and we’ll see about getting you a cab out of here, okay?”

Luhan pouted when _Baozi_ pushed him lightly into one of the seats closest to the door and drifted towards Kim Jongdae, who was wearing an amused look again. Luhan decided that Kim Jongdae looked like yellow rubber ducky with those curved lips and he giggled again at the image that had formed in his head: a steaming pork bun floating on the back of a yellow rubber duck in a bathtub filled with water.

“Uhm, do you know where you live, Mr. …?” _Baozi_ had returned, with the rubber duck at his side.

“Luuuuuuuuuhan! Now tell me your name!”

“We need to get you home, Luhan. Can you tell us where you live so we can call you a cab?”

Luhan shook his head furiously, “No! Yixing’s grandmum always said never to tell strangers where you live!” He answered, in a childish tone.

“Uh, well, I’m sure that – er – Yixing’s grandmother would want you to get home safely, right?”

Luhan cocked his head to the side contemplatively, “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“So why don’t you let Mr. Kim here get your address so you can do that?”

Luhan frowned again, “I don’t trust duckies.” He hopped up from his chair and linked an arm through _Baozi_ ’s. “How about you take me home, _cutey_?”

Luhan watched as the two exchanged looks. The sudden movement on his part seemed to clear his head a bit and he detected a hint of exasperated sympathy in _Baozi’_ s expression. Finally, with a sigh, _Baozi_ relented, “Alright. Lead the way then, Luhan.”

Luhan almost jumped for joy but instead, let go of the arm he’d been hanging on to and ran out the door, “Follow me!”

…

_I know I really shouldn’t have favourites when it comes to the people I teach, but I totally do with EXO. His name’s Kim Jongin and his moves flow like water. No, really, I’m not kidding. – Love, Yixing_

Luhan didn’t go to Kim Jongdae’s bar after his embarrassing incident where he’d acted like an elementary school child in a sandbox. Instead, he’d gone to a club and picked up the nearest person, coming back to his place with hair everywhere and shallow nail marks all over his back, but not one bit better about himself. He did the same thing the next night and then again the night after that with nameless faces that he’d imagined were _Baozi_ ’s.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he muttered to himself in front of the mirror after splashing his face with cold water after coming back from another of his trysts.

…

 _It’s only been a week, but the guys are really getting a hang of the choreography! No really, Luhan, you_ have _to meet these guys. Where are you these days?? – Love, Yixing._

Luhan pushed open the doors cautiously and peeked into the bar, looking for Kim Jongdae and crossing his fingers that _someone else_ wasn’t there.

“Ah, our five year old is back!” Kim Jongdae called jovially from behind the counter. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t get you a teddy bear. The toy store was sold out.”

Luhan did his best not to flush like a tomato and cleared his throat. “Uhm, do you know where I can find, er…”

“ _Baozi_?” Kim Jongdae offered with a smirk.

“Uh, yeah,” Luhan averted his gaze towards a chalkboard on the wall beside him, “I have to thank him for… dealing with me last week.” Luhan had never felt so awkward. That just wasn’t something he knew how to be, because Luhan was always smooth.

“You could try turning around.”

Luhan’s jaw clenched as he spun around, finding himself face to face with _Baozi_ , whose eyes widened at the sight of Luhan, and then started to search for the fastest way out of the room.

“I just wanted to say thanks,” Luhan blurted out quickly before _Baozi_ could make it to the door. He turned around to face Luhan again, which Luhan took as a good thing, “For, uhm, you know.”

 _Baozi_ was still looking shocked, but his face had softened from when he had first seen Luhan that night, “You’re not… drunk _now_ , are you?”

Luhan grinned, “No, completely sober, I promise.”

 _Baozi_ ’s shoulders relaxed and he walked back towards Luhan, albeit cautiously, “Good, because I really don’t think I could deal with that all over again, no offense.”

“None taken.” Luhan swallowed hard and slid into the nearest chair, trying to think what words to use next, something he’d never had to do before, because words had always been easy. “I owe you of course. Can I get you a drink? Mojito?”

 _Baozi_ narrowed his eyes suspiciously but sat down with Luhan anyway, settling into the chair to the left of Luhan, “How did you know I liked those?”

Luhan brought his hand to his hair and played with a tuft idly, “You were drinking one the night that Manchester United was playing.” When _Baozi_ ’s eyes narrowed even further, reducing them to slits, Luhan shifted uncomfortably in his seat, “I’m not a stalker, really. I was there that night too. You know, the guy in the booth that you thought got stood up?”

“Stood up?” _Baozi_ took a moment to recall the night and then laughed, “Oh! No, I just thought you were an asshole for taking up an entire booth when people had to stand.”

“Oh, well…”

 _Baozi_ grinned, “No worries. Now I think you’re just the drunkard that acts like a kid.”

Luhan scowled as Kim Jongdae returned with their drinks, “That’s possibly worse.”

 _Baozi_ snorted, “Well, you could be an _asshole_ who acts like a kid…”

“Oh. Well, I’m glad we’ve established that I’m not an asshole then.” Luhan glanced at the glass of wine and opted to push it aside. He didn’t want to have a repeat of the episode where he’d had too much wine. Besides, he didn’t need much liquoring up to find _Baozi_ interesting to talk to.

 _Baozi_ shrugged with a playful smile, “I dunno, I might have to reassess that. You _did_ call me a _baozi._ ”

Luhan groaned, “That’s just because I didn’t know your name, which, I might add, is still a mystery. Mind enlightening me?”

 _Baozi_ grinned crookedly as took a sip of his drink, “It’s Kim Minseok.”

This was likely the only time Luhan would willingly hold a conversation with someone and not expect it to end in their bed with their clothes littered across their floor. Not that he didn’t want that, but at the moment, he was more interested in Minseok’s passion for photography and for kendo (though he’d always thought that all forms of martial arts were boring as hell), in the way his brown hair fell into his eyes as he talked and the crooked smile that revealed a set of almost-perfect teeth. He even agreed to let Minseok take a polaroid of them with his camera. When it had fully developed, Minseok had asked for a pen from one of the waitresses and written on the back, handing it to Luhan when he had finished dating it at the bottom.

“Luhan, it was great meeting you tonight. – Minseok,” Luhan read, “You can’t really say we’ve only met today, though, can you?”

Minseok smirked, “Yeah, but let’s pretend we did just meet today and that I didn’t have to carry your childish ass home that one night last week.”

Luhan broke into a smile and watched Minseok as he looked around for the waitress he’s borrowed the pen from. His face was pale but his eyes were bright, making him look younger than he probably was.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Minseok asked suddenly, noticing the way Luhan had been staring.

Luhan blinked and straightened his posture, “Like what?” He asked innocently.

Minseok narrowed his eyes, put down the pen in front of him and crossed his arms, “What were you thinking, just now.”

Luhan hesitated, “Uhm… Honestly?”

Minseok made a motion with his hand as if to say, _Duh, of course, what else?_

Luhan took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, staring straight back into Minseok’s dark eyes, eyes he’d like to get lost in tonight as he reached his climax, “I was thinking that it sucks that you’re straight.”

Minseok blinked and stared at Luhan blankly, “Excuse me?”

ldquo;You asked, so I told you.” Luhan cleared his throat and shrugged, suddenly keen on changing the subject again. He opened the browser on his phone and pulled up the schedule for Manchester United, flashing the screen at Minseok, “They’re playing again in a couple days.”

“Are you saying that _you_ ’ _re_ not straight?” Minseok asked, clearly not moving on as Luhan would have liked.

In his peripheral vision, Luhan caught sight of the glass he hadn’t bothered to drink from sitting near the edge of the table and with a swift motion, he moved it until it teetered and crashed to the ground, getting the liquid contents on his shoes and up his pant leg. “Oh shit! Uhm, be right back. Gotta clean up.” Luhan got up abruptly from his chair, banging his knee into the underside of the table, the throbbing sensation from which he ignored until he was inside the men’s bathroom.

 _Well, Luhan, aren’t you just the smoothest talker?_ Luhan groaned as he dropped down into a crouch and ran his hands through his hair, frustrated with his inability to act like a normal person. _This shouldn’t be hard. The hell’s the matter with you?_ This _is the reason why you don’t go for straight guys, Luhan._

Luhan ruffled his hair angrily for a while longer before standing up and taking a deep breath as he stood up and grabbed paper towels from a dispenser and started scrubbing haphazardly at the stains on his pants.

“Need a hand with that? I asked the bartender for some club soda.”

Startled, Luhan jumped and nearly lost his balance. “No, I think I’m good,” he answered hurriedly, scrunching up the used paper towels and tossing them into the trash before walking around Minseok towards the door. There was still a lot of red wine on his pant leg, but he could work with it if it meant leaving the confines of the bathroom. Besides, the denim was dark and when the dark patch dried, it’d probably look perfectly fine anyway.

“Wait, you missed a spot,” Minseok grabbed Luhan’s elbow and pulled him back into the bathroom, dragging him towards the sink and pointing at the counter. “Hop up.”

Luhan was too surprised to object, doing as he was told as Minseok moistened paper towels from the running tap beside him and started dabbing at the bottom of his jeans.

“You know, this might be easier if you just took off your pants.”

Luhan didn’t bother trying to mask his surprise, “What?” he asked, startled at the suggestion.

“I have to pour this,” Minseok raised the glass, “onto here,” he pointed to the denim around Luhan’s ankle, “And it’d be way easier if I didn’t have to worry about dirtying your entire leg.

Luhan swallowed involuntarily. Taking off his pants for Minseok would have been a great idea in any situation but this one, “I can just go buy a new pair of jeans. Really, it’s not a problem.” He pulled his leg back to himself and jumped off the counter, only to have Minseok step in front of him, trapping him between the dispenser on the wall and the sink counter. His mind wandered, trying to count how many times he’d been in Minseok’s position and not the other way around.

“What makes you think I’m straight?”

Luhan rolled his eyes, reluctant to begin a spiel about how Minseok hadn’t noticed him that night which would undoubtedly make him look like an arrogant – “Wait, what?” he asked when his brain registered Minseok’s words.

“What.” Minseok took a small step forward, “Makes.” His voice lowered just above a whisper, “You.” Luhan took a step back, his waist pushing into the protruding corners of the sink counter, “Think.” Minseok’s eyes left Luhan’s briefly to focus on his lips, “I’m.” Luhan had to bite his lip and close his eyes as Minseok traced a finger up his arm, thigh pushing up against the fabric that had already tightened against his groin, “Straight?” Luhan failed to prevent the whimper that had threatened to escape his lips when Minseok whispered the last word, his breath hot on Luhan’s ear.

Luhan opened his eyes to a smirking Minseok and didn’t hesitate a moment before cupping his face with one hand, pulling him into a minty-lime kiss while the other made its way around Minseok’s waist and up his shirt. “You know, this might be easier if you just took off your pants.”

…

 _Wow, Luhan, is work going well? Your notes seem so much perkier all of a sudden. Not that that’s a bad thing. =) I’ve finally completed my contract with EXO yesterday, but I get the distinct feeling they’re thinking of proposing another, which would be_ TOTALLY AWESOME. _I can’t believe you still haven’t met these kids. – Love, Yixing._

Luhan smiled as he wrote a response that denied the accusation even though it was true; Luhan _was_ happy, which was a big deal, given that he’d never felt that way before, especially with high expectations from his parents and responsibility towards Yixing. Even his regular affairs with strangers didn’t make him feel as good.

It’d been a month since Luhan had discovered he’d been wrong about Minseok’s sexual orientation and it had been a _good_ month _._ He slipped his note under Yixing’s door and hurried down the street towards the bar with a goofy grin on his face. Normally, he’d have been bored at the idea of seeing the same person twice, yet he’d seen Minseok more than twenty times and it only got more exciting every time. He liked learning about Minseok, about his likes and his dislikes, about his childhood and about his family. He liked going out to dinner with Minseok, trying new flavours from different cultures. Mostly, he just liked being around Minseok.

…

_Ulghh, I feel like crap, Luhan. I turned in early tonight because my nose refused to stop running and I felt like if I tried to stand up, I would fall over. I hope you didn’t catch whatever I have. Remember to eat your vitamins and dress warmly! Good night. Z-z-z…– Love, Yixing._

Luhan couldn’t help but crack a grin despite his scratchy throat and heavy head; leave it to Yixing to worry about Luhan catching his bug when he himself was the one who was sick. Yixing should know that it was impossible for Luhan to remain healthy if Yixing was sick, but Luhan figured that would be something too difficult to explain.

 _Ah, Xingie! I hope you feel better soon! Remember not to push yourself too hard and give yourself time to recover, okay? Which means that you should find someone to take over your classes. Your health is most important. I hope you went to see a doctor to get some medicine…Eat lots of veggies_ – Luhan paused to cough uncomfortably – _and drink some warm soup to help with the sore throat.  – Love, Luhan._

Luhan got up to slip his response under Yixing’s door and put the note from Yixing into his jacket pocket to put away in his closet later. Minseok had wanted to meet up at the bar again to watch the game, but Luhan wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and just cancel on his boyfriend. Maybe if he just called him and told him he was sick, they could reschedule. He imagined Minseok pulling a worried face and then taking him home, making him turn into his bathroom and pull out the bottle of painkillers, popping two of the pills into his mouth and swallowing them dry. He replaced the bottle next to the bottle of antidepressants he’d gotten when he was younger, the same bottle that Yixing had once stolen and stashed into his sock drawer. Clearing his throat one last time, he left his apartment and headed in the direction of the bar.

*

“Only orange juice tonight?” Minseok asked with concern as he settled into the seat that Luhan had claimed when he first arrived by hanging his jacket on its back.

Luhan had decided against agitating his throat with alcohol, because it wasn’t only himself he had to report to; he had to try his best to eat (or in this case, drink) well for Yixing too. “Yeah, feeling a bit under the weather.”

“Oh, well in that case…” Minseok hailed down the nearest employee and ordered a juice for himself as well. He turned around to smile at Luhan, slinging his arm around his neck and kissing him lightly on the cheek, “Can’t let my favourite person suffer a sober night by himself.”

Luhan returned the smile but pulled away, though reluctantly, “And _I_ can’t let _my_ favourite person get sick because of me.” He ducked his head to get out from underneath Minseok’s arm, only to have his boyfriend tighten his hold.

“Fuck getting sick, I’ll kiss my boyfriend whenever I want. Besides, my immune system could use a work out.” Minseok said before kissing Luhan fully on the lips for a full minute, pulling apart just before waitress returned with Minseok’s drink, who had awkwardly placed it on the table.

“Fine,” Luhan grinned, “But don’t come blaming me when you’re all gross and phlegmy.” He kissed Minseok again – god that felt so right – “And don’t expect me to do the same for you later down the road.”

Minseok pulled away in mock horror, “What? Are you saying that all this time, it’s been a one-way relationship?”

“Oh, sorry, you weren’t aware?” Luhan joked.

Minseok glared, “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“Yeah, well, you’re lucky you’re good in bed.”

“Jerk.” Minseok crossed his arms and theatrically turned his head away.

Luhan smirked, his turn to wrap his arm around Minseok’s neck. “You love it.”

“Naw, it’s really just you that I love.”

Luhan froze, knowing that it was the logical time to return _those three words_ but he couldn’t. He probably _did_ love Minseok, but how could he be sure? How could anyone ever be sure if they loved someone? The only thing he was sure of was that he liked Minseok way more than all his one-night-stands, _combined,_ but did that mean he really _loved_ Minseok? Saying it out loud would make it real, and Luhan wasn’t sure he was ready for that. Didn’t loving someone involve telling the entire truth about yourself? How could he afford to do that?

“Luhan?” Minseok asked gingerly, “You can relax. It doesn’t matter if you’re not there. I just thought you should know how I feel. I don’t need for you to say it back right now.”

“N-no. I… You… I mean, yeah, but… uhm…” Luhan stuttered, pulling his arm back to himself and finding his nails suddenly very interesting.

Minseok grinned, in that perfectly crooked way that made Luhan’s stomach fill with butterflies, and placed a finger on Luhan’s lips to quiet him, “It’s fine, Luhan,” he took a deep breath and shrugged as he removed his hand back to his side, “Though, to be honest, I totally did not mean for it to just slip out like that. Gotta work on my delivery, huh?”

Luhan watched Minseok’s ear redden and all Luhan wanted to do was tell him that of course he loved him back, but he couldn’t. Not with Yixing in the picture. Instead, he opted to lean in towards Minseok and say, “Just shut up and kiss me.”

Of course, it was in the middle of tracing the familiar contours of the inside of Minseok’s mouth that his body made him pull away to sneeze. He looked up sheepishly at Minseok, “Ulgh, I fucking hate being sick,” he turned away to sneeze into his elbow again, “Do me a favour and reach into my jacket pocket for my pack of tissue?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Minseok answered with a raised eyebrow that Luhan read as either amused or disgusted. He turned to rummage through Luhan’s coat and came up with more than just the pack of tissues that he handed to Luhan. “What’s this?” Luhan was too busy blowing his nose to recognize the note paper before Minseok had already unfolded it, reading Yixing’s writing out loud. “‘Love, Yixing’? Who’s Yixing?”

 _Crap, not good._ “Just a friend,” Luhan answered incompletely.

“A friend who writes you notes about keeping your health and then signing it with ‘Love’?”

Luhan swallowed uncomfortably but it had nothing to do with the sore throat. Minseok’s eyes were starting to look pink and Luhan didn’t like it, he didn’t like it at all. “We’ve been friends for a really long time. We met in high school.”

“Did you get your cold from _him_ then? Is that why you’re sick?” While the bar still bustled with chatter around them, Minseok’s voice was rising steadily and a few heads had already turned towards them, including that of Kim Jongdae.

Luhan didn’t answer immediately, “It’s nothing to be jealous of, Minseokie, I swear,” he said, which, while it was the truth, only seemed to make things worse.

“No, you’re right, I have nothing to be jealous about. I only told you I love you, and you only didn’t say it back, and then less than five minutes later, I only find a love letter from some other guy stashed in your pocket. No, no reason to be jealous here.”

“Yixing and I have a complicated relationship,” Luhan answered barely audibly.

Minseok narrowed his eyes further, “Complicated,” he repeated flatly before scoffing to himself. He pushed his chair out from and grabbed his jacket, “Well, go enjoy your ‘complicated’ relationship with Yixing then, whoever he is,” he spat out before leaving Luhan to sit at his table dumbly.

Luhan had to blink a few times before it registered in his mind that Minseok had left, and then he tore after him immediately. “Minseok, wait!”

At Luhan’s call, Minseok only walked faster away down the sidewalk and Luhan had to run to catch up, “Just listen to me, please?”

Minseok stopped walking but refused to meet Luhan’s eye, choosing to stare up at a lamp post instead; Luhan tried not to focus too hard on the redness or the glossiness in Minseok’s eyes because it only made it hard to breathe. “Yixing has no family and I’m all he’s got. His parents died before I met him in high school and then over half a year ago, his grandmother passed away too. I’m all he’s got, okay? I have to look out for him because no one else will, or can. You have to trust me.”

hen Minseok’s shoulders slumped downwards, Luhan knew he was safe, at least for tonight.

“I do, but to be honest, I don’t really know anything about you and yet _you_ know everything about _me._ How can I believe what you’re saying if I don’t even know what it is you do during the day?”

“I _promise_ you that Yixing and I are not in that kind of relationship.” Luhan knew he was lucky that Minseok didn’t know how to stay mad at anyone for very long, and he knew that luck wasn’t something he should depend on. He had to be more careful, especially now that Minseok knew the name ‘Yixing’. “Come on, let’s go back and watch the rest of the game,” he urged, wrapping his arms around himself as he realised he’d forgotten his jacket in his haste to chase after Minseok.

Minseok let out a sigh when Luhan sneezed and peeled off his jacket to wrap around Luhan, “You really ought to take better care of yourself,” he said as he pulled Luhan in for a hug.

Luhan held onto to Minseok tightly, burying his face into Minseok’s soft hair, finally learning the answer to his question of his feelings towards Minseok. “I love you, Minseok-ah.”

*

When Luhan returned home that night, he headed towards the bathroom and retrieved the picture of himself and Minseok that he kept behind the mirror on the medicine cabinet. He sat on the cold floor of the living room and picked up the pen that he always used to reply to Yixing’s notes. He unscrewed the pen angrily and used the top half to scratch at the face that wasn’t Minseok’s until there was nothing left except just the coloured hair. He hated lying to Minseok and he hated more that he was stuck in this body. He returned the picture to its place and tucked himself into bed, trying not to shake as his tears wet the pillow.

…

_You know what’s so great about this neighbourhood, Luhan? The random people who do nice things for you for no reason. Some guy offered to help carry my fifty bags of groceries after my session with Exo today, and despite the part where he thought I was someone else, he was good company. The world needs more people like that. – Love, Yixing_

Luhan opened his front door to an unexpected visitor. Minseok hadn’t knocked, but rather, was sitting on the pebbled path that lead to the both doorways of the house, obviously waiting for Luhan. “What are you-?”

“So, I met Yixing today. That was a surprise.”

Luhan froze under the door frame, hand still behind him on the door knob.

“See, I was actually looking for you. I wanted to surprise you at your house since we’re always at mine, and you know, check out what you actually do during the day.”

Luhan swallowed, still not daring to move a muscle before Minseok did.

“He doesn’t know about you, does he, Luhan?”

“Yixing knows that Luhan, his high school best friend, lives in the apartment below his,” Luhan answered in a small voice.

Minseok chose that moment to finally get up and walk over to stand in front of Luhan, “Yes, but he doesn’t know that he _is_ Luhan, does he?”

Luhan shook his head slowly, not trusting himself to use his voice.

“But you did, this entire time.”

Luhan nodded.

Minseok slipped past Luhan into the apartment and Luhan noticed with a painful pang to his chest that he had taken care not to touch Luhan at all. “If this is Yixing’s apartment that I’m assuming you live downstairs.”

Luhan nodded again, finally daring to move again so he could watch Minseok take in his surroundings.

“Can I see it?”

“Okay,” Luhan barely managed to croak out, before leaving Yixing’s apartment with Minseok at his heels.

Minseok snorted when he saw the empty rooms, “Why furnish this place when you have a perfectly good bed upstairs, right?” he commented sarcastically. “I’m assuming that since Yixing’s got the actually lived-in apartment that he’s the one who’s renting his body out and not the other way around.” Another small nod. “So how does this ‘complicated’ relationship of yours work then? You know, what with Yixing never having seen ‘Luhan’.”

Luhan cleared his throat and swallowed before going to the bedroom and pulling up the loose floorboard in his closet, “We write notes to each other,” he explained as he grabbed a handful of letters and showed them to Minseok.

Minseok spent at least twenty minutes reading Yixing’s letters to Luhan in silence before speaking up again. “I have to tell him.”

“What? No! Of course not!” Luhan retorted defensively, getting to his feet

“You’re not being fair to Zhang Yixing,” Minseok said after a moment, tearing his eyes from Luhan’s and Luhan knew that Zhang Yixing wasn’t the only person Minseok thought Luhan wasn’t being fair to.

“Minseok-ie-ah,” Luhan called softly, reached his hand to touch Minseok, who only flinched away in response.  

“He has the right to know, Luhan.”

“No!” Luhan shouted this time, “You can’t tell him! What if he decides he wants to put me away then?”

Minseok’s jaw clenched, “So? You’re not even real, Luhan, He’s better off without you, _I’m_ better off without you,” he bit out between his teeth.

Luhan’s eyes widened as his knees suddenly lost the strength to hold him up, Minseok’s words hitting him harder than if he’d just thrown a brick at his face, “No, that’s not- Tell me you don’t really believe that.” He looked up at Minseok to find him with his eyes squeezed tightly shut. “ _Please,_ ” he pleaded with his own tears forming at the corners of his eyes, “I’m just as real as you are.”

Minseok looked down at Luhan with a moist pair of eyes and stepped back a couple of paces, “No, you’re just a fictional persona that I stupidly let myself fall for,” Luhan watched Minseok’s eyes harden with the unspoken message, ‘How could you do this to me?’ and he felt his mind swirl. “I’ll come around tomorrow and tell Zhang Yixing myself.”

Before he knew what he was doing, Luhan was standing again, and had the gun from next to the letters in his hand and pointed at Minseok’s temple, safety off. Another moment and all he could hear was the echo of the shot and all he could see was Minseok’s falling figure through a veil of burning tears and all he could feel was nothingness. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he repeated as he fell to Minseok’s side, kissing his now still face again and again. “I’m so sorry, but Xingie needs me more,” he explained half-heartedly as he wrapped Minseok’s unmoving fingers around the grip of the gun before hugging his knees to himself and letting the tears fall for a full ten minutes before pulling out his phone.

“I’d like to report a shot heard at 12 History Road,” he said simply to the operator who’d asked what his emergency was before hanging up immediately. He wiped the tears from his face and got up to replace the loose floorboard. Taking a last look at his now dead boyfriend, he left the apartment and went to buy himself a tub of ice cream.

 

_Xingie, I’m leaving town for a while. – Love, Luhan_   
  



End file.
